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Friday, February 10, 2017
Mimickery: The trial of 2face Innocent Idibia
Brigadier One Leg Atamuna: I'm Brigadier Atamuna, the Prince from the Royal House of Igala land. In my over fifty years of service and retirement from the force I have never seen such a gathering of different people from different shades of the society. GSO. You must give me the SITREP now!
Col. Tongue Cutter Biko Harum: Sir, we have sad news.
Brigadier One Leg Atamuna: Give it to me! There is nothing like good or bad news in the Army. Good or bad, the boots are on the ground.
Col. Tongue Cutter Biko Harum: The President and Commander-in-Chief is on sick leave, his exact ailment and whereabouts, still unknown. The Armageddon are praying for him and their Overseer believes it is the end time! There is mayhem in the Freedom Square. Tuface's award winning single, "My African Queen" has taken over the waves. Dancing swarms of Area Boys, Coalitions of many colours and clues, including the Coalition of the Niger Delta, Ekpetesi and the Ovie Whisky Pipe Blowing Brigade; Pay the Worker his Wage Union, PWWU, Biafra Airborne Referendum Army, BARA; Bring Back our Girls, BBG; Kaduna Christian Resistance Army, KARA; The Shiite Daggers of God, Zaria, the revamped one-eyed Oduduwa Hunters Battalion, have all mobilised and waiting for Baba Tuface....
Finally swanking in at the head of the gay clad Holy Ghost conjuring, Bishops and Pastors of the Pentecostal Army Division is the aerated man of the moment, Archbishop Zachariah, Nicodemus Suleiman. He is the General Overseer of the Praying Mantis Warriors Church of Armageddon.
The sect denies drug and hospitalisation for their sick. On daily basis, the Praying Mantis Warriors Church fast, pray and direct the Holy Ghost to send His fire to consume all the African dictators, who have stood against their people and beaten them to the ground.
Sir, while we wait for Baba Tuface, you may listen to the Armageddon General Overseer make his opening remarks to the weird Coalition at the Freedom Square.
Archbishop Zachariah Nicodemus Suleiman: In the name of the convener of this rally of the century, this historic gathering of the true representatives of our suffering people, I call upon the Holy Ghost to bring down his fire to eat up all of them.... Yahya Jammeh the escapee thieving dictator from Gambia, His host, President T.O. Nguema, the vermin of Guinea Bissau. The old trickster from Zimbabwe, all of them according to my prophecy will die, die, die!
In Zimbabwe you will need a Dangote truck-load of Zimbabwean shillings indeed six million shillings to purchase a loaf of bread. Holy Ghost Father Fire! Fire!! Fire!! The crowd responded in absolute frenzy....And suddenly the whole place is in serious bedlam.
Brigadier One Leg Atamuna: Enough, what's going on GSO?
Col. Tongue Cutter Biko Harum: The Olopa (Police) Division headed by Mojib Abiola Moshood has encircled the Peaceful Freedom Square. Sir, I foresee a worsening anarchy... The Whisky Brigade, Area Boys, the Pay his Worker his Wage, the Suicide Zaria/Kaduna Brigades, all in the name of God, Oduduwa and Biafra have all unsheathed their amour. Sergeant where is the original initiator of this Freedom Rally, Baba Tuface Idibia?
Sergeant Okon Bassey: The singing bird has no spinal cord. Just a whistle blow from the advancing Inspector and Tuface frantically jumped into the waiting motorcade of the Governors of Rome. The Judases, those Governors of Rome are at it again. They are approaching the Freedom Square, siren wailing and whipping the streets, behind an armored black column of 3,000 bullet proof Jeeps! Who knows what they promised Baba to betray his art.
Major Olakampo Olakankita: Sir, there is an urgent call from a London hospital....
"This is officially the First Dame calling from a London hospital. Like Mrs. Peron of Argentina, do not cry for me and remember, I will always tell you the truth. All this Wahala I told you is about the 'other room.' The kitchen room is loaded and I have everything to eat. But the 'other room' has not seen action for a long time. Once Baba returns to action in this very important 'other room' Nigeria will see peace again. We forgive the Armageddon Prayer Warriors, we are not in a hurry to depart this sweet planet."
Brigadier One Leg Atamuna: (calling on the G.O.C) The President is indisposed and the Freedom Square is in total anarchy. G.O.C. you must take full command.
G.O.C: Revolution is not a tea party. The same gathering storm that heralded the January 15 Revolution is playing out again. It was so stormy that a young professing artist like our own Tuface without bothering the crowd decided on his own, to put a stop to the brigandage that had taken over our heritage. Armed with a short gun, the Professor, risking all, drove himself to the Western Broadcasting Station, took over the studios and announced the correct results of the western elections! As we open our eyes, we look around again, and clinch at the catastrophe that has become our promise; we cannot but hold on to another great artist and the greatest African Poet of the last century, Chris Okigbo. At a recital at the Makere University, a frustrated Chris looked up to the north, to the east, to the west and to the south and cried: Where are the Stars, where am I? Tuface Innocent Idibia, what is your name and where are you? Revolution is not a tea party.
THE IGBO RANT
BIBLICAL TRADITIONS OF NDI IGBO BEFORE THE MISSIONARIES CAME TO AFRICA* IGBO 101.
THE IGBO TRIBE AND ITS FEAR OF EXTINCTION
The Igbo: We die for causes, not for personalities
Written by Emeka Maduewesi
~on fb. 28th September, 2016.
The Igbo will never die for anyone. We will not even riot for anyone. But the Igbo will die for any cause they believe in because the Igbo have a true sense of justice and a determination to obtain it.
The Igbo will not riot because one of their own lost an election. Operation Wetie was the Western response to a massively rigged 1965 election. The Yoruba doused fellow Yorubas in petrol and burnt them alife. Properties were burnt with occupants. The Igbo will never do this.
In 1983, the Yoruba went on a rampage again over the massive rigging by NPN. Lifes were lost and properties destroyed. The riots were over personalities.
Contrast that with Anambra State where Chief Emeka Ojukwu was rigged out by his own NPN, who also rigged out Chief Jim Nwobodo. The Igbo did not protest because the goat's head is still in the goat's bag.
In the North, ba muso was the battle cry when Sultan Dasuki was imposed on the Sokoto Caliphate. The riot and protest lasted for days and crippled economic activities.
The Igbo will riot over issues and causes. The Aba Women Riot was over Tax. The Enugu coal mine riot was about conditions of service. The Ekumeku Uprising was over British colonialization.
Those of "Ekumeku" ancestry - Umu Eze Chima and Umu Nri - were at the forefront of the struggles for Nigerian independence, with people like Dr. A A Nwafor Orizu and Chief Osita Agwuna serving prison terms. Any struggles the parents could not conclude is continued by the children by other means.
The Biafran war was a response to the genocide. The war in fact was brought upon us. The battlefield was Eastern Region. The war ended in 1970 but the issues and causes were not resolved. That is where we are today.
The Igbo will also jointly rise to fight evil in their midst. They did it in Onitsha in the 1980's, Owerri in the 90's, and with Bakkassi in the 2000.
The Igbo will not die for any man. But the Igbo will stand by any man who symbolizes their cause and their pursuit of justice. Even if the man dies, the struggle continues, and like the Ekumeku warriors, the children will pick up the baton from their parents.
This is the Igbo I know, the Igbo I am, and the Igbo we are. This is my story. Feel free to tell yours.
RT. HON. DR. NNAMDI AZIKIWE TO DR. CHUBA OKADIGBO (1981)
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